Monthly Archives: August 2013

Acceptance

Does it seem strange to have ‘acceptance’ as the emotion for this blog? In a way it does for me, but then again, don’t we as lupus patients get put into a lot of situations, places, and circumstances where we have to decide to accept or not? I think, we more than a lot of people, have too many things we have to learn to accept. Or not~

First we have to accept our diagnosis. That’s not really an easy thing to do. It means there will be many changes, and we have to accept them too. Accepting one, the diagnosis, means accepting all the changes that come with it.

With the changes we have to accept the fact that we will now be taking medications that we never took before, and not all of them are nice medications. We also have to accept that physicians, in ever ‘ologist’ area, will not be a part of our lives.

We have to accept the changes the disease brings. No more sun. Fatigue everyday. Pain as a companion. Cognitive dysfunction. And so many other things.

It doesn’t help to deny these things. They don’t change or go away because we won’t recognize them. To be honest, the sooner we accept them, the sooner we will learn how to live with them, and the easier our life will become.

Acceptance can ease the feelings that gnaw at us. The ones inside that work to keep us confused. What if the diagnosis is wrong? What if I don’t need these medications? What if I go in the sun for a little while? What if I feel good and don’t want to go to the doctor? What if….

You can decide to ignore these things. You can refuse to accept what you have been told. Those are your options and only you can make that decision. I’ve seen people who fight against acceptance. In the case of lupus, they rarely win. The more they fight, the more miserable they become. The more they fight and deny, the more the disease become active. The more active the disease, the worse their life is.

We are taught to fight when we have a disease. Lupus is no different, but fighting the diagnosis, the need for meds and physicians and test is futile. They will become part of your life and something to be accepted.

Accepting all of this does not mean you are defeated. In this case it means you are ready to fight; ready to have a better life with lupus; ready to move forward into a new life.

© 2013 Wanda M. Argersinger and The Lupus Support Network