Monthly Archives: November 2013

Weary?

How many of us can say we have never experienced the emotion of being weary? How many of can say you are too familiar with this emotion? I suspect we have all been weary at one time or another. I suspect we have also been weary for different reasons. I’ve been weary from all the doctor’s visits. I’ve been weary of being sick in bed for more than three days. I’ve been weary from thinking about all the things I have and need to do knowing I don’t have enough energy to do them. I’ve been weary just thinking that there is no end or solution in sight for me. I’ve been weary of trying too hard and seemingly getting nowhere for all my efforts. I’ve been weary from giving all I have when it seems no one else gives or cares. I’ve also felt weary for no particular reason.

All of these feelings belong to me. They may be justified in some cases, and in others they are a result of emotions running amok. Whatever the reason, justified or not, for me the feeling is real, with or without a reason, I still feel weary.

To get beyond feeling weary, a person must know why they are feeling that way. I know I often feel weary because of depression. It’s a difficult beast to battle, but if I don’t get the depression under control, I can’t get over feeling weary. If I’m feeling weary because I’m looking for an answer that isn’t coming fast enough, I need to look at why and then change things such as my doctor, or have a very frank discussion with them and let them know how I feel. Perhaps there are reasons I don’t know about and this discussion will allow me to gain insight. If I’m feeling weary because I feel unappreciated, I need to find my voice and let those involved know. It won’t change unless I help them understand. Whatever the reason for a person feeling weary, they have to be the one to initiate the change in their life.

I remember my Grandmother saying she felt weary. At the time I thought she meant she was just tired. I understand now it was so much more than that. My Grandfather’s health was precarious and this put much more responsibility on my Grandmother. I’m sure she was weary of that at times.

I expect first responders often feel weary. Surely those who responded to the 9-11 tragedy felt weary. I am sure our soldiers overseas feel weary and want nothing more than to come home and see their families. I’m certain that those fighting terminal illnesses feel weary and often want to give up. I, too, have known weariness as I’m sure most of you have. We feel it at different levels, at different times, and for different reasons. Being weary is beyond being tired, it is something felt deep in the bones all the way to the soul.

I feel weary at times and don’t even know why. It’s not a feeling of being tired nor is it a feeling of being depressed. This feeling goes to my core. The best way I can describe it is being tired of everything, feeling overwhelmed, underappreciated, pulled a million different ways, and seeing no way out. I eventually get over it, sometimes by working my way through it and sometimes by just letting a little time go by. I don’t recommend the last option. In most cases, feeling weary has a reason(s) and the reason(s) need to be addressed or they just surface again at a later date.

Feeling weary isn’t a bad thing. We all feel it from time to time. If we know why we feel weary we are able to address it, if it needs addressing. That is an individual choice. I know that in some cases, for me anyway, the weariness won’t go away until I take action in that direction. In other cases, time is what will make the difference. The problem for me is in knowing when to act and when to let time take care of my weariness.

© 2013, Wanda M. Argersinger & The Lupus Support Network