Monthly Archives: May 2015

Abandoned?

Continuing in our theme of emotions:

 

abandonedI suspect that every lupus patient has felt abandoned at some time during their life with lupus. In fact, I’m fairly certain of that statement. The opportunities are endless.

When a patient is seeking to find out what is wrong with them, searching for a diagnosis, many feel abandoned by medical practitioners. They often ask the question, “why?” Why can’t you tell me what is wrong with me? Why is it taking so long for a diagnosis? Why do you think I’m making all of this up? And a million other whys?

Before or even when a diagnosis is made patients often feel abandoned by their family and loved ones. This often comes from disbelief, misunderstanding, incomplete understanding, disillusionment, fear, wanting things the way they were, and even from being tired. When we, as patients, have a difficult time understanding, how do we expect others to completely understand what we are going through? When we make dates or agree to attend events and more often than not we cancel or simply don’t show up, what are others left to think? Isn’t it understandable that they will stop asking us to go with them? When our lives and the lives of our families change due to our illness, is it any wonder they want things the way they used to be? When all these things happen and friends, relatives, and loves ones pull away, certainly we will feel abandoned.

If we can’t do our work as we used to or put in long hours as we have in the past, and our employers pass our work to others, does that cause a feeling of abandonment?

When new medications take 50 years or more to make it to market, or don’t come at all, do we feel abandoned by researchers, and the pharmaceutical companies?

What about those who promised to always be by our sides? Have they abandoned us?

Should we speak of our bodies, our minds, and our very beings? Do we feel they have abandoned us also? We gain weight. We lose weight. We have mental lapses. We own 4 different sizes of clothes.

Is there anyone or anything that hasn’t abandoned us?

Yes, it can be a lonely place living with lupus. But if you open your eyes you may see that you are not abandoned, at least not by everyone.

This past weekend The Lupus Support Network hosted a walk. Almost everyone who showed up was a stranger to me, for about a minute. Once I said hello, they became friends. They were already warriors in this fight against lupus, I simply didn’t know they were out there and who they were.

I read lupus updates daily and see which pharmaceutical companies are working on what medications for the treatment of lupus. It gives me renewed hope.

I get responses to my blog posts and e-mails telling us to keep doing what we do and I know others are listening and care.

When I feel alone and abandoned all I have to do is open my eyes. It’s then I realize none of us have been abandoned, not completely. People come and go in our lives. It happens whether you have a lupus or not. It’s part of life. Look around. Read. Call someone. Come to a support group or a walk or a golf tournament. You will soon see you are not alone.

From the life of Wanda M. Argersinger

© 2015 Wanda M. Argersinger and The Lupus Support Network, Inc.

www.thelupussupportnetwork.org